Pickup lines for Tsuna
by assasin1827
Summary: Tsuna's cloud and mist guardians has a new hobby. Throwing him random corny and cliche love punchlines and jokes. They think it's fun, he thinks otherwise. How will he react? My very first humor fic.


I was scanning through my phone when I started seeing quotes and jokes I received from my friends this past month. I laughed aloud when I find lots of cheesy messages and corny love punchlines that ended up with this idea.

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**Pick-up lines for Tsuna**

182769-oneshot

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Beta-ed by KRaZiElilNYer

Warning

Corny Jokes, OOCness

Pervert Cloud and Mist Guardian

Rated T for hinted Yaoi and supposed adult jokes

Disclaimer

I don't own Reborn. I'm still plotting something on how I can own it.

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It's been almost a week since Tsuna received a blackberry phone from his Grandfather after the successful events of the inheritance ceremony. Dino, being the ever so hyper older brother figure typed his number immediately before he left. His guardians, especially Gokudera and Yamamoto typed their numbers as well. The two had been doing nothing, but calling him every night which once earned him a kick from Reborn accusing him of neglecting his studying duties.

The next morning was pretty normal until he received two text messages from two unknown individuals.

_Good morning, Tsunayoshi_

Both text messages were the same. He frowned and replied to them immediately, thinking that it must be someone he knows.

The reply he received made him almost drop his new phone.

_Are you a keyboard? Coz you're my type... Kufufu..._

WTF! Mukuro?

Mukuro didn't reply anymore but he received another text message, this one coming from the other number.

_Tsunayoshi, did you know that if you hold 11 roses in front of the mirror, you will see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world..._

_W-what!_ Tsuna ended up blushing at the last text message wondering who sent it. He received another text from the same number.

_Tsunayoshi, if you are late, I'll bite you to death..._

"Hieee! Hibari-san!" He looked at his wrist watch, a gift he got from Dino and proceeded to run as fast as he could. He only had 2 minutes left before he became late. He met Gokudera and Yamamoto on his way and dragged them along with him.

"Hahahaha... Why the hurry Tsuna?" Yamamoto laugh

"We're late! We're late! Hibari-san will bite us to death!" Tsuna replied panicking

"I'm so sorry Tenth; I should have fetched you earlier. As your right hand man I should always think of you first before myself, I-"

"Gokudera-kun stop, we're almost there... I really don't mind any of it..."

"Ahahaha! Tsuna you're just like the rabbit in Alice in wonderland. Ahahaha!"

"Yamamoto!" Tsuna exclaimed face flushing

"Baseball freak... I'll kill you!"

Needless to say, the same thing has been happening to him these past weeks. People have been throwing lines and comments around him and he can't help but feel awkward. He even remembered the last time when Gokudera even told him that he resembled a Nami cheerleader. He remembered him crying at his friend for the sudden outburst. Even Kyoko-chan laughed and smiled at him commenting that he should join the cheerleading squad. He screamed that he's a boy.

"Dame-Tsuna..."

He looked to up to see one of his male's classmates that suddenly turned him wary. It was break time. Yamamoto left because of a sudden emergency in the baseball team. Gokudera was dragged by Bianchi telling him that she needed her brother for company which basically left him alone.

_Is he here to bully me?_

"Someone's looking for you." He said redirecting his gaze at the door. He saw a random sempai who often greeted him in the hall.

Standing up, he went towards the older student who led him to one of the school's fire exit. He looked at the older boy and started assessing his features. He's tall, perhaps as tall as Mukuro with the same body built. He got blue eyes that resemble Dino's and he's a bit tan. Needless to say, he's handsome.

_I'm going to die. Why did I even follow him from the start...?_ He sighed.

"Uh...Sempai... Is there anything I can do for you?" Being the typical idiot that he is, Tsuna was not aware that he practically looked like a scared little animal begging to be left out of the older man's line of sight.

"Well, I was thinking that maybe, we could go out." He said calmly

"W-what?"

"Uh... well... I was thinking that you're pretty and cute and adorable..." He trailed off and smiled flashing his awesome white teeth. Tsuna cringed, thinking that he was just receiving his very first confession. And it's coming from a handsome boy, not from the pretty Kyoko-chan he always dreamed of. It's not like Kyoko-chan will confess to him but it's not good to lose hope, right? People are free to dream.

"I-I don't know what to say sempai..." He said sounding nervous

"You don't have to answer yet but you see, lots of boys in our class had been eying you to be their boyfriend I figured I should tell you bef-"

He gaped and his mouth hung low at what the older boy was saying. _W-what! When did such things happen!_

"Are you alright?" He asked worriedly

Tsuna snapped at his thoughts and shook his head and smiled. "Y-Yeah... I was just surprised"

"What's going on here, Herbivore?" Both of them heard the cold voice and turned their head to see the Head Prefect walking towards them.

"Hi-hibari-san!" He exclaimed looking further nervous.

Hibari narrowed his eyes and looked at the handsome boy who just started confessing to the Vongola Boss.

"So this herbivore caught your attention." He smirked and took out his tonfas, asking the random guys who dragged Tsuna out. . "I'll let you know something, stupid herbivore. You're eying something that already belongs to somebody." He said and lounged forward the scared sempai who ran for his life. Tsuna was left standing at his spot as he watched the head prefect chase the poor boy. Before completely going out of sight Hibari turn around to him.

"By the way Tsunayoshi, did you know you're a good thief. You have just stolen my heart." He said suddenly, running the after the poor sempai.

Tsuna was gaping at the spot. _Something must be wrong with him! Where did he learn those corny pick-up lines!_

It seems telling him pick-up lines is the new hobby of his mist and cloud guardian. Walking home alone, he ran across Mukuro.

"Ah Vongola! You must be a broom... You just swept me of my feet..." He said dreamily

"Ahahahaha..." Tsuna laughed nervously and walked past him as if he heard nothing.

"What? Not good? Hmm..." Mukuro said following him as he walked.

"Are you related to the sun, Tsunayoshi-kun? Because you're the hottest thing near me."

Tsuna stopped and faced his mist guardian looking worried. "Mukuro, are you alright?"

"No." He flatly stated feigning sadness "Because you're driving me crazy... Kufufu..."

_Another punch line!_ He screamed inside and face palmed

He ran as fast as he could and ended up bumping into his cloud guardian who looked at him warily then smiled. His first thought was that he was creepy.

"Aren't you getting tired Tsunayoshi? Because you keep on running in my mind..." Tsuna sweat dropped

"Really Hibari-san, even you? You and Mukuro have been throwing pick-up lines at me" He complained that earned a frown from his cloud guardian.

"That bastard pineapple must be thinking he can win you over by giving you some corny punch lines" He said with a serious face and irritated aura.

_But Hibari-san you're doing the same!_

"Well... well... If it isn't the skylark, you think you're punch line can help you win over Tsunayoshi-kun huh? Just to let you know, he's melting in mine."

_No I'm not Mukuro! The two of you saying those lines to me are even more than creepy than your personalities. _

"Shall we have a test then?" Mukuro offered

"The winner will have Tsunayoshi's first night."

"I'll be the judge." the three of them turned around to see Reborn wearing a cupid costume.

_They're deciding without me! _Tsuna mentally screamed.

"Is your name summer? Cause you're so hoooottt..." Hibari cooed at him making him walk backwards.

"No! I'm Sawada Tsunayoshi..."

"Kufufu... so lame..." Mukuro said "Hey Tsunayoshi-kun, did you fart? Cause you just blew me away..." He laugh, feeling proud of what he said while Chrome face-palmed inside their world. _Mukuro-sama you're an idiot..._

A nerve twitched at his forehead. _Mukuro you bastard! _

"Tsunayoshi, I'll give you an exclusive scholarship." Hibari interjected "Just learn to love me."

"What a hopeless line." Mukuro looked at Tsuna dreamily. "You're like my oxygen, I can't breathe without you."

"If I'm a bee, can you be my honey?" That's Hibari-san

"Try this... In the alphabet I always want to be T, because it's always beside U."

Hibari growled and pulled Tsuna towards him "I just forgot your name, can I call you mine?"

Tsuna just sweat dropped... "Eeeerrr..."

"No fair birdie, you're scaring him... Hey Tsunayoshi…" Mukuro said pulling one of Tsuna's arms so he would look at him. "I forgot my phone number, Can I have yours?" He said smoothly

"Herbivore look at me." Hibari said "Perhaps you're an angel, because I feel like you just fell from heaven..."

The two guardians have already started exchanging deadly looks at each other. Reborn watched the whole scene with fascination. Where ever they got those lines, he didn't know, but he's certainly having fun seeing his student look bewildered at the sight of two of his scariest guardians who have been doing nothing but throwing corny punch lines at him.

"Hibari-san... Mukuro... stop... Please..." He silently begged.

"NO..." both said in unison looking at him sternly and intensely.

"Herbivore, I may not be Fred Flintstone but I assure you, I can make your bed ROCK!"

WTF!

"I'm looking for a wife, Will you marry me? Kufufu..."

"I'm like Winnie the Pooh; I want to get my hands on your bowl of honey..."

"Kufufu... This is fun... You see I have always dreamed of being an astronaut to get into your black Hole..."

Tsuna's bangs started to cover his face. A nerve silently twitched at his forehead.

"Vongola, that outfit is very becoming of you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too!"

"Do you live in a chicken farm? Because you sure know how to raise cocks..."

Reborn's eyes glinted mischievously at the line coming from Hibari. Who would have thought that the scary prefect had the same pervert tendency like the mist guardian? So his student really attracts troublesome people eh? He wanted to laugh at the scene.

"Oya Vongola, I have a problem. I'm still a virgin, you want to be the solution?"

"Herbivore, let's try an Australian kiss, It's just like French kiss but down under."

"Kufufu... I'll make you shiver... when I deliver... My Vongola..." Purred Mukuro

The dying will flame started to light at the boy's forehead as the gloves changed their phase, making both guardians stop at any dirty words they planned to deliver.

"Fucking perverts... and you call yourself my guardians..." Tsuna said coldly, already in HDW-mode

"X-burner..." Both guardians start to run for their lives...

**************************OWARI*********************

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please Read and Review XD


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